may angels lead you in

i never thought when i opened my eyes this morning that after my shower, my life would be greatly effected.  i felt like i had been hit by a truck when i was reading status after status about the loss of anthony, the most genuine friend i could have ever asked for.  my first reaction: this is a joke. my second reaction: denial and disbelief. my third reaction: an inexplicable feeling that has yet to end. he and i had our high points and low points during our friendship, but we were always there for each other and he has undoubtedly had an impact on the past 6 years of my life. i cannot wrap my head around the fact that he's gone...

no one can see something like this coming, especially to a person like anthony. to say he touched a million people's lives is probably an understatement. everyone i know at home is grieving this loss, and i would give anything to be able to be there, or at least in america, with them. being this far away and disconnected is awful. finding out about a friend's death via facebook is hell. i don't wish it upon anyone. nothing like this has ever happened to me before and i'm not sure how to handle it. i can't pick up the phone and call anyone that knew him. they're all sleeping. and i don't even have a phone. i'm sure day by day this weird, inexplicable feeling will fade away, but until then, forgive me for being emotional.

unfortunately, i was reminded today of how incredibly short life is. 10/19/2011 will be a date i always remember. anthony and his family will forever be in my thoughts and prayers.

 rest in peace bud.