back on track

to say that this week has caused me to be entirely too stressed, homesick, and just sad is extremely accurate. it feels like ages since i've posted anything and i know it's because nothing has seemed worth typing about. to fill you in on what i've been doing the past few days: studying, crying, eating, and sleeping. so exciting, i know. i'm fully aware that i shouldn't be wasting any time while i'm here, but i think with the universe throwing shit on shit on shit at me, i had to have a minor "i hate everything" phase.

but i'm pretty sure that's over for now. and since midterms are done i have five days off WOOHOOO! me and some gehls are leaving at 1am to ride a bus through the night and arrive in seville bright and early tomorrow morning. we're gonna be there for four full days and are in the midst of planning day trips to granada and morocco that i really really hope work out. this is going to be my first hostel experience, so wish me luck. although, i'm sure nothing can be more of an experience than the german tents. it's been raining all day so of course i've been in bed watching tv and sleeping since i got done with my one class this morning. haven't exactly packed yet. haven't exactly showered. should probably get moving.

random things:

real madrid game hay hay

ladies in toledo last friday

"don't forget that i love you" 

can't wait to have stories when i get back. halloweekend spain style. bring it.

worst time for midterms

this poem is my only motivation for attempting to study for midterms and be a functional human for a while. i'm taking this all day by day. i'm up one minute and down the next, but i guess that's normal. counting my blessings, actually praying, and reminiscing, are my main distractions at the moment. but honestly, if i fail my exams because if that, i'd say it's well worth it.


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
                                        -Frye

may angels lead you in

i never thought when i opened my eyes this morning that after my shower, my life would be greatly effected.  i felt like i had been hit by a truck when i was reading status after status about the loss of anthony, the most genuine friend i could have ever asked for.  my first reaction: this is a joke. my second reaction: denial and disbelief. my third reaction: an inexplicable feeling that has yet to end. he and i had our high points and low points during our friendship, but we were always there for each other and he has undoubtedly had an impact on the past 6 years of my life. i cannot wrap my head around the fact that he's gone...

no one can see something like this coming, especially to a person like anthony. to say he touched a million people's lives is probably an understatement. everyone i know at home is grieving this loss, and i would give anything to be able to be there, or at least in america, with them. being this far away and disconnected is awful. finding out about a friend's death via facebook is hell. i don't wish it upon anyone. nothing like this has ever happened to me before and i'm not sure how to handle it. i can't pick up the phone and call anyone that knew him. they're all sleeping. and i don't even have a phone. i'm sure day by day this weird, inexplicable feeling will fade away, but until then, forgive me for being emotional.

unfortunately, i was reminded today of how incredibly short life is. 10/19/2011 will be a date i always remember. anthony and his family will forever be in my thoughts and prayers.

 rest in peace bud. 

long time no type

i haven't blogged in a few days, but maybe that means i actually have a life? maybe?

not too much was goin on this week so i guess i wasn't inclined to fill you in on meaningless details. well, until now. what did happen this week?

• i made guacamole...twice. and i loved every bite of it. i feel like it's gonna become a regular pregame routine. you give me alcohol, i'll give you smashed up avocados. 
• i got screamed at by an elderly man on a bus. was i the only one talking? no. was it a bus with silent rules? no. did this man have a stick up his ass? obviously. #loudgirlproblems. 
• i was pursued by not one, but two middle aged men this weekend. one may or may not have been married. good to know i can have a career in homewrecking to fall back on if communications and/or being the voice of a cartoon character doesn't work out. 
• i found my new favorite spot to do homework. just in time for midterms. yay. it's a famous book store (complete with autographs from antonio banderas, penelope cruz, woody allen, and natalie portman. and a bunch of spanish estrellas that i've never heard of) and there's also a cafe connected to it. shout out to mol bakes cause she'd love it there. almost as great as the grypon. 
• went to el rastro (the greatest open air flea market ever) this morning and bought yet another bracelet. my collection will be absurd by the time december rolls around. i was really tempted to buy myself sun flowers, but then realized that's semi pathetic. 
• i bought a ticket to a real madrid game for tuesday night. cannot. wait. obvi i'll blog about it. 

ta ta for now. time to go to starbucks and do homework. so euro right? some things never change. 

mobile blog

written yesterday at 6:52pm:

this isn't gonna make any sense because my mind is on a million different things right now.

coming to ya from my iphone in the garden of the reina sofia museum.  i've gotten worse than my dad at typing on this keyboard. it's almost 7 and the sun is still shining strong. this is the first time i've been in this garden and i feel like i'll be back. i'm just sitting here. attempting to read. but instead i'm just thinking.

thoughts:

• i simultaneously feel like time is flying by and like i have all the time in the world here. 
• i'm starting to miss amurica a little bit even though i feel like i can't admit it. granted, i mostly miss certain foods, but i also miss my family, friends, and fall. 
• the pda going on here, literally on that green bench in front of me, isn't making me sick. it's actually making me a little jealous. boyfriend applications are now being accepted. 
• i wanna go back to sensation. 
• i'm committing to being a madrid tourist this weekend and seeing more of the city. 
• i feel bad that i didn't eat mariscos at lunch in the paella. apparently they're expensive. sins i didn't want to stick a lobsters head with eyeballs in my mouth. at least i spared marisol and eduardo some projectile vomiting. 
• i really should get back to reading.
• the adorable spanish nugget in a polo and sperry-like shoes looks like a frat star in training. 
• i miss kids. 
• people watching is my favorite. 

barthelona

the shimmer of my birthday is slowly wearing off but i do have a fiesta tomorrow to look forward too. it's eduardo's birthday today, so tomorrow we're obviously having a joint party at pilar's house next door. what else would i be doing on my day off from school? getting drunk.

my weekend in barcelona might have been my most enjoyable weekend yet. since we flew out on friday morning, it felt like we were there for so long compared to last weekend in germany. and of course the fact that it was my birthday weekend made it exponentially more exciting. well, for me at least. here's a quick run down of my #weekendfromheaven. 

friday: BIRTHDAY DUH. 

• me and kim arrived at her friend's BEAUTIFUL apartment where we're staying for the weekend. the fact that it had a shower where i could outstretch my arms made it an upgrade from marisol's house. sins. 
• my besties from madrid were staying in a hostel so after droppin off my shizz i met up with them and we headed to do some sightseeing. we saw la sagrada familia which was designed by gaudi, but he died before it was finished. the architecture of this church was completely different from any other church i've ever seen. so so beautiful and well worth the 13 euros. 
• friday night we went to a restaurant for dinner and then were planning on heading to a shot bar and a club on the beach. let me preface this by saying that the club we wanted to go to was rumored to have a dress code of all white, as a theme sensation white weekend. therefore, i wore white all weekend. continuing...we made our way to the shot bar and it was BEYOND crowded. i quickly realized that there was no way i was gonna get birthday drunk standing in a hot, sweaty bar, so naturally i went to the completely empty bar next door and took three shots chased with lemon wedges. then we walked through the ghetto where we screamed colt 45 lyrics and i bought 1 euro beers from a street walker until reached the white themed club. SURPRISE, hardly anyone was wearing white. (yes, i sacrificed my adorable bday outfit for nothing. bitter.) we ultimately ended up at the club next door which was a great decision because i ran into probably 12 people i knew, two of which were from high school. either i'm really popular, or the world is too small. loved this place because you could get a stamp and walk right onto the beach. where you would buy more 1 euro beers. obviously, that's where i spent most of my time. i got the perfect amount of intoxicated and got to be with all my friends. what more could a birthday girl ask for? 

saturday:

• i was actually functional on the day after my birthday for the first time in two years which was good, because i needed to continue to see barca. we headed to parc guell, another place influenced by gaudi. this was a treck to say the least but it was worth it. when we were at the top there was a crystal clear view of the entire city. thus, making it a great photo opp. and what else would i care about. jkbutseriously. 
• saturday night was sensation white. basically the entire reason i was in barcelona for the weekend. i bought my ticket in june and had been counting down the days since.  after planning an outfit and worrying about if i would be too overwhelmed by my first big raaaave...i am glad to report that it was one of the most fun nights of my life. i have never and probably will never experience anything like it. besides the part where my ticket wouldn't scan and i was all alone outside trying to communicate with spaniards to let me into the damn venue, there were NO problems the entire night. everything was as amazing as i had expected. things were lit on fire, people were floating from the ceiling, blue neon foam things were being swayed in my face, bass was shaking my entire body, and when i say i didn't stop dancing for 7 hours, i'm not exaggerating for once. we were on the main floor and at one point, in the front row. i could have touched the artichoke shaped stage! and the best part? in a crowd of 17,000 people, i managed to see so many familiar faces from my madrid program and even from nova. i could not have asked for a more successful night. 
• to top it all off, i ended my night with a falafel. #winning.

sunday: 

• i was the TIREDEST GIRL IN SPAIN. my legs were sore and my back was aching, but still completely worth it.

i honestly wasn't ready to get back on a plane to madrid because barcelona was so amazing but now that i'm back, i'm really looking forward to having the next two weekends here. minus the part where it's still 87 degrees and doesn't seem to be cooling down any time soon. I NEED FALL. 

pics of course: 

birthday betch. 

view from parc guell.

inside of sagrada familia.

sensation. 

gehls. 

real. life.  

no more teens

i know, i've been slacking on the blog front this week. but honestly, nothing too exciting has happened. i went to a cooking class and actually made delicious paella with no help at all the help of a professional. and i also learned how to make sangria, which my roomies for next year should look forward too. i think i'm getting the sniffles (just in time for my birthday weekend of course) so i haven't done much lately unfortunately. minus last night. where i drank enough to think i was a video vixen on the dance floor. let's just say i left a large part of my dignity at club gabana. sins.

tomorrow is the most anticipated birthday of the year though. unless you count jesus' birthday. yep, that's right, i will finally be out of my teenage years. overcome the epidemic of teenage pregnancy. one step closer to not breaking the law every time i have a beer. and what's better than turning 20 abroad? turning 20 in barcelona with all your friends from all different parts of life and then going to a european rave the next day. my life really is rough. my mother might have a heart attack this weekend because she is convinced that i'll die. but i'm really hoping to prove her wrong and if this weekend is anything like last weekend, it should be a success.

before i siesta i need to give a shoutout to the villanova supernovas, aka the greatest acapella group in existence. after class today i checked my mailbox and saw that i had a package. i immediately thought that my parents sent me a bday gift but i was surprised to see a fed ex envelope. and that the postmark was from bryn mawr. i opened it to find a pile of letters, one from each member of my acapella group. obviously, i started to cry a lil bit because you can't deny that that's the most thoughtful thing ever. they weren't even letters saying happy birthday. they were just letters saying "hey we miss ya" and it will undoubtedly be the best present i get this year.

ps: in order to make this a surprise they managed to get a hold of my little brother on facebook and get my address. i can't believe a group of people likes me enough to make such an effort. baffling. couldn't be more lucky.

you know you love me,
xoxo
spanish girl.

oktoberfest chronicles

disclaimer: trying to sum up my oktoberfest experience is going to be nearly impossible, but i'll give it a shot.

we didn't leave madrid until friday evening, which got us into the munich airport at around 9pm. i wrote down the directions to where we were staying from a student travel website so i figured they'd be safe and accurate. we were successful at finding the train we needed to take from the airport and following directions, got off at the Daglfing stop. little did we know that this train station was apparently abandoned and surrounded by...um...nothing. we luckily chose the direction farthest from the train tracks where murder scenes are filmed and found the bus stop. we of course had to ask 13 year old drunk girls if it was the right one and had no other choice but to trust them. after getting off the bus, there were no signs directing us toward weisn camp. no, thats not the name of a random german concentration camp, thats the name of where we would be residing for the weekend. lucky for four girls living in madrid, we stumbled upon a german man who spoke spanish rather than english and he pointed us in the dimly lit, but right direction. after walking for what seemed like forever, we finally made it.

after checking in and being laughed at when i asked if we could lock our tents, (the woman assured me if anyone wanted to steal anything, they would use a knife,) we threw down our sleeping bags and attempted to get a few hours of sleep. key word being attempted. 45 minutes was about as good as it got. waking up at 5am to get to the festivities early enough may sound absurd, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. i did not pay 300$ for a flight to munich just to sleep. we decided to go to the german tent rather than the american one for the purpose of really immersing ourselves in the culture. we sat at a table with some new american besties we made while standing on top of each other in line and the drinks started coming. at 9am. with pretzels. the next 6 hours of my saturday are a blur of beer, lederhosen, and german songs. needless to say, i wish i could have stayed there forever. after realizing that my body, and my wallet, couldn't handle another 10 euro beer, we went outside into the sunlight for the first time since we had arrived in munich. (believe it or not, the sun is barely up at 6am.) i wish i would tell you i remember eating pretzels on sandwiches on sausages, and riding an enormous german ferris wheel, but i honestly didn't know any of that transpired until i looked at pictures the following day.

after a solid 7 hours of drinking and frolicking around, we made our way back to weisn camp. that night's sleep was practically a beer induced coma, and it was just what i needed. sadly, the next morning we had to wake up early and make our way back to the munich airport, thus ending the longest and most unreal 24 hours of my life. i honestly don't know how people can do the whole oktoberfest thing two days in a row. i for one wouldn't be able to hang, because i'm pretty sure i'm still recovering. #strugglebus.

all in all, i left my heart in munich. but i'm pretty sure this weekend in barcelona i'll find it again.

photos courtesy of shannon because i know you've already stalked mine:

munich!

chug a beer. or four. 

felix, my german friend. 

professional to say the least.

humble abode. 

my weekend in a nutshell.