i don't think i have ever been this emotionally unstable in my life. i change my mind literally every hour about coming home. i'm not sure if it makes any sense, but i am excited to go home, without wanting to leave. i know being home for the holidays and going back to school to reunite with my friends is going to be so nice. i am looking forward to iced coffees, being able to choose when and what i can eat for lunch, driving a car, and even doing school work in english. i want to decorate my christmas tree, go to my favorite cafe, and get drunk with my best friends. but i always forget that things at home aren't the same as when i left. while i've been living in this dream world everyone else has carried on with their normal lives. i'm sure they've grown and changed just like i have. i'm a little afraid to have to adjust in a setting where i'm normally so comfortable.
also, leaving here is unlike leaving anywhere i've ever been. i've never really lived somewhere and had to leave knowing that i'm not coming back. at least not for a long time. this experience has been in my head since freshman year of college and now i'm about to be done with it. how is that possible?
today i walked around and tried to take everything in. i snapped pics left and right and enjoyed every minute of it. also, we had our last lunch with marisol and eduardo. they really are the most loving and genuine people. my relationship with them feels unlike any other adult relationship i've had. it's nothing like a relationship with parents, grandparents, or friends. i don't know what it's like but i know i'm going to miss it and be forever grateful for it. i love madrid. i cannot be more happy with my experience here. sometimes me and kim try to think of how we're gonna respond when people ask us "OMG how was spain?!" and i still don't even know how i'm going to begin to answer that question. words can't describe it.
on a less depressing and sentimental note, i gotta make my hair get dry before we rageragerage on our last night to do it big in spain. wish me luck.
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