boring

absolutely nothing substantial or eventful happened today. i take this as a sign that, as impossible as it sounds, it's time for summer to be done now.  i need to get out of here. or at least get my ass off the couch.

currently missing:

 moments like this...

and this.

can we go back to school now?

woomm woom woomm wom (you try and spell the sounds of dubstep)

let me just start off by saying that i saw so many muploads/tweets of lollapalooza, i feel like i was there. too bad i wasn't, and i'm still jealous of everyone who was. if only i didn't have to save my money for spain.

since we're talking about music, you should know that i don't discriminate when it comes to quality tunes.  i've even learned to tolerate country after living with my roommate (still not sure how that happened.)  but the latest musical genre that has become popular is dubstep. at least, thats what i've noticed lately. i don't know how i feel about it.  i think i liked it better when it was less main stream.  this past week i heard it on So You Think You Can Dance in a solo routine and in a Best Buy commercial.  it was aggressive.  dubstep is enjoyable when you're at a rave or any situation when you're under the influence of drugs/alcohol. not mid-day as a backdrop to sell me electronics.  maybe i'll have to stop listening to it because i'm such a hipster. but until then, press play.

it's time for a cocktail

it's been a long week. actually, i'm being dramatic because i only work three hour days, but whatever. it's finally the weekend and since i only have a few left in sunny california i plan on living it up.  tomorrow i'm gonna go boating which, despite the fact that i have only been up on a wakeboard for .5 seconds, has become one of my favorite summer activities. anything that involves sitting on my butt, getting fresh air, bronzing, and boozing is something i consider to be worth my while. hence why tonight, i am going to indulge in a much needed cocktail. or five. i'm sure there are a few people out there who could use a drink more than i do tonight, but i'm gonna pretend like the world revolves around me. what a change...

speaking of alcohol, i felt like a true betch the other day when i had an epiphany. i realized that i really love cocktail parties. yes, like parties for old, single, middle-aged people. recently, i accompanied my parents to a family friend's birthday party only because i knew it would be equipped with an open bar. oh, and because i knew it would be a good photo opportunity. trynna get my tagged picture count up. anyway, i ended up having a legitimately great time.  not only because i was drinking free patron instead of popov, but honestly, because i enjoy the activities that go down at a cocktail party. they include the following:

• not paying for alcohol. the supply is almost unlimited and the demand is far less than at a frat party. and not to mention of a much higher quality.  
• getting to brag about myself. call me crazy, but i like to occasionally talk about myself. we're all guilty. yes i go to a respectable university, yes i get to spend the next four months in spain, yes i'm in a kickass sorority, and yes i love seeing this 45 year old mom be impressed/jealous of all of the above. 
• compliments. 90% of the people at this party hadn't seen me since i was a braces-ridden, awkward 14 year old. if i wasn't getting compliments on how i looked better now, i probably shouldn't be showing my face in public.

how could anyone argue that a cocktail party isn't a good time with the combination of all those things going on? i don't have time to come up with a witty way to end this because i'm running late and in a towel. bow chica wow wow. 

starbucks future

if you don't know that i go to starbucks once, sometimes twice a day, then you don't know me. stop reading. what are you a stalker? so of course i stopped to get my vanilla iced coffee this morning as per usual and i swear i saw a portal into my future.  not that i'm creepy, but when you go into the same starbucks every morning, you recognize other people that are there as often as you.  there's a family that's in starbucks probably 4 days a week at the same time as me and by creepily people watching them while i wait for my coffee, i have realized that they are what i want my future family to be like.

they are an adorbs young couple. the mom is super fit and stylish and obviously a betch because she gets an iced coffee every day. i'm guessing the dad is rich or his own boss or something because he was eating a starbucks breakfast sammie at 10:15 am on a thursday. they have three super cute kids and they're very well dressed. i'm 90% sure they help the planet by walking to starbucks because sometimes there are razor scooters involved.  the best is they're laid back parents, because they let their kids eat brownies for breakfast if that's what they want. none of that whole foods healthy at age 5 bullshit.

long story short, if i don't achieve this lovely family portrait at my neighborhood starbucks by age 30, i have failed. don't lie, i know at least someone can relate.

i will never be a wedding planner

well it's official, the walk from my parked car to my front porch in the dark is officially the scariest 10 seconds of my daily routine. too many episodes of Lie to Me.

anyway, i have realized recently that going abroad means i need to plan shit. and planning shit is anything but my forte. i haven't even begun to figure out what i am doing in terms of a cell phone, or how i'm gonna get my birth control, or how i'm supposed to use my debit card over there. but i have managed to almost completely plan my birthday weekend in barcelona. snaps for me.  oktoberfest planning, however, has proven to be a far larger pain in my ass. i am used to being the person that follows the plans last minute. someone tells me to be ready in five minutes because we're going out, and by god i'll be ready in four and a half minutes. (at least 90% of the time.) this whole thing where i'm texting four people trying to organize a weekend to travel from spain to germany and work on figuring out how much everyone will owe me after i charge our tent, yes i said tent not hotel, on my credit card, is exhausting. i really hope i don't need to be in charge of booking any more weekends that will provide me with a lifetime of memories. i really hope that i will be sitting back, enjoying the ride on all my other european adventures. sorry if that's lazy. actually i'm not.

this doesn't happen to me when i plan...

perks of being single

i had an awkward moment the other day when i realized all of my friends at home are not single. dating someone. taken. in a relationship. i am the token perpetually single friend. trust me i'm not complaining, i advocate for being single on pretty much a daily basis. however, there are nights when its cold and i wish i could have someone keep me warm by sleeping in my bed and not have to feel like a slut the next morning. (the random guys i meet mid dance floor makeout, just three hours prior to this rhetorical sleepover, never leave me feeling classy.)

in order to remain sane and confident, i have created some affirmations that i repeat to myself while looking in the mirror. jk, i hope you know i'm not that mentally unstable. but i do remind myself of these #perksofbeingsingle every now and again.

• you don't want a boyfriend because he'll cheat on you. you can blame my high school boyfriend for this commitment issue. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because then you have to recall the events from the nights that you don't spend together. its almost as annoying as when your parents ask you what you did last night. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because they will try and control you. any guy that doesn't want you to have other friends with penises needs to grow up and stop be as insecure as a 15 year old girl. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because you might actually develop feelings, and you're afraid of getting hurt. super cliche, but true.  
• you don't want a boyfriend because you're in college. self explanatory. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because you hate public displays of affection. no, i will not kiss you in front of people unless i'm five shots deep. only a clingy boyfriend from bullet point three would get insecure about this. "you don't want people to know we're together huh? what do you think you're better than me?" no, i just think you sound like an idiot. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because after 5 months, you'll get bored and feel like you wasted your time. boy ADD is a disease. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because that means the chase is over. we all know that 80 percent of the time, the catch is no where near as fun as the chase. 

of course, there are pros to being tied down in a relationship, but in my limited experience, i haven't found a guy to make me believe they outweigh the cons. until a boy can put up with me for long periods of time and not annoy the shit out of me, i will be reminding myself of these single lady statements on the reg. 

"the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."
i learn from the baddest bitches. 

august first

it's already august 1st. almost august 2nd. where the hell has this summer gone?  i feel like i was just taking finals and packing up my quadlyfe, ready to live on the west coast best coast for the summer. but then again if i really think about it, it also feels like i have been working for 8 weeks, spending too many nights in, and realizing how much more exciting life is in my #CTL. however, sunday sparked the most anticipated week of summer.

i'm a big fan of shark week, even though it interrupted my entourage schedule last night. i just can't get enough of crazy people that jump underwater in shark cages just to get a good picture. or of 15 sharks feeding on a dead whale in the middle of ocean. or of sharks that jump out of the water and eat birds. or people loosing limbs during shark attacks. i think you get the point. it actually makes me feel lucky that i can't swim, let alone surf, and chances of me getting attacked by a shark are slim to impossible. i also feel lucky that by the end of the week i feel like i know enough information about sharks to write a damn book. 

sorry if this seems like a scatterbrained post, but i'm distracted by the Real Housewives reunion, helping by credibility as a certified couch potato.  hopefully something more exciting will happen tomorrow. maybe i'll find my husband at summer camp.  

rawr.