perks of being single

i had an awkward moment the other day when i realized all of my friends at home are not single. dating someone. taken. in a relationship. i am the token perpetually single friend. trust me i'm not complaining, i advocate for being single on pretty much a daily basis. however, there are nights when its cold and i wish i could have someone keep me warm by sleeping in my bed and not have to feel like a slut the next morning. (the random guys i meet mid dance floor makeout, just three hours prior to this rhetorical sleepover, never leave me feeling classy.)

in order to remain sane and confident, i have created some affirmations that i repeat to myself while looking in the mirror. jk, i hope you know i'm not that mentally unstable. but i do remind myself of these #perksofbeingsingle every now and again.

• you don't want a boyfriend because he'll cheat on you. you can blame my high school boyfriend for this commitment issue. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because then you have to recall the events from the nights that you don't spend together. its almost as annoying as when your parents ask you what you did last night. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because they will try and control you. any guy that doesn't want you to have other friends with penises needs to grow up and stop be as insecure as a 15 year old girl. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because you might actually develop feelings, and you're afraid of getting hurt. super cliche, but true.  
• you don't want a boyfriend because you're in college. self explanatory. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because you hate public displays of affection. no, i will not kiss you in front of people unless i'm five shots deep. only a clingy boyfriend from bullet point three would get insecure about this. "you don't want people to know we're together huh? what do you think you're better than me?" no, i just think you sound like an idiot. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because after 5 months, you'll get bored and feel like you wasted your time. boy ADD is a disease. 
• you don't want a boyfriend because that means the chase is over. we all know that 80 percent of the time, the catch is no where near as fun as the chase. 

of course, there are pros to being tied down in a relationship, but in my limited experience, i haven't found a guy to make me believe they outweigh the cons. until a boy can put up with me for long periods of time and not annoy the shit out of me, i will be reminding myself of these single lady statements on the reg. 

"the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."
i learn from the baddest bitches.